Friday, February 21, 2014

You know when you're sat around listening to people talk and you hear someone say something completely dumb and ignorant about dieting?
Yeah, where I work they're doing a big weight loss thing, like I work at a store with over 400 employees and I'd say about 300 are overweight so I can see why they're doing it, but anyway, I was in the break room listening to conversations and one guy goes "I've already lost two pounds."

Like really?

Bitch, I gain and lose 2 pounds in a matter of hours, 2 pounds isn't weight lost, 2 pounds is general fluctuations.

And then, when I think stuff like that, I think, is it normal to know that? Like do I just know way too much about weight and eating and food and dieting and all that?

Probably. Whatever. I was seriously considering trying to get a tape worm this week. Like I've been googling all sorts and looking up how likely it is to get tapeworm from raw beef and thinking about buying some ground beef after work and eating a bit raw just to try and get a tapeworm or at least make myself sick enough that I'm puking. I decided it wasn't worth it when I found out tapeworms might make me bloat. Like I'm talking serious swelling around the waist area. No thanks.

Also seriously considering ODing on paracetamol, like 8 pills of extra strength tylenol and I'll be puking. Only problem is that might also cause lifelong liver damage and I'm not quite fucked up enough to risk my liver for a good purge yet.

I'm completely cutting white sugar out of my life though. And for good reason too, I get these killer headaches. Like I'm on day 11 of a headache right now, I've barely slept in over a week, so I'm going to cut out sugar and see if that helps my headaches and it'll help me lose weight too and it's something I don't have to hide from the world, like I have a very good reason to be not eating sugar so when someone offers I can say no without feeling like I might be being suspicious.

Friday, January 24, 2014

I've been eating so many 5 calorie jello cups that my shit has started to turn reddish.

Friday, January 17, 2014

What happened with store standard

Okay so we continued talking a lot on facebook and when we were at work and then when I was done my last final exam he asked me out.

We went out, I met some of his friends who we bumped into (which was probably 0% by accident I'm pretty sure he told his friends I'd be there) and his friends were weird and the date was awkward and I realised I really am not into him at all.

So I told him I was too busy to date.

And he seemed to take it well. Until he started messaging me one facebook like a freaking psychopath.

Like he was just sending me boring messages, talking about his day, asking how I am, shit like that. Except I wasn't responding, like he could not take the hint. He was sending me messages everyday and I wasn't responding. And after like a week and a half of sending me messages, none of which I'd responded to, he tried to use his grandmother's cancer to make me talk to him. Anyway he's given up now finally. So that's over.

I'm glad, and I think I've worked out I'm not a relationship person. I like my alone time too much.

Problem is I'm tired of being a fucking virgin. Ugh.

Anyway, I discovered a thing. You know those pudding cups? the gross chocolate and vanilla ones? Yeah they're super disgusting, but anyway, you can get jello ones too, which are also pretty gross but at least they taste pretty good. But they also make sugar free jello ones. 1 cup has 5 calories. 5.
And it doesn't say on the thing that they're sugar free, just on the outer packaging, so you can eat them in front of people and look like you're eating about 100 calories, but really you're just eating 5. And they really fill the gap, like they actually fill me up, I love them.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Update on my life

So 2 things have happened recently.

Store Standard (his name is Braeden maybe I should just refer to him as Braeden now) and I are still talking. Like every day, most of the day, we talk on Facebook and we see each other at work and we just talk a lot. And my friends are convinced he likes me and I'm almost convinced too. Almost. I have my doubts.

He's sweet though. And he's told me I have a little girl tummy and I'm small. So that was nice.

And the other week a guy sat next to me and started passing me notes. The first one he introduced himself, and then he apologised, by note, for the notes and said he's just incredibly nervous talking to girls.
It sounds romantic. It wasn't. It was awkward. I was talking to Braeden at the same time, I wasn't interested in this guy, and the notes were, rankly, immature.
Then, yesterday, he walks over to me and asks me if I want to hang out with him after class. So I said "I have classes all day then work so it's kind of a bad day."
Then he asked if I wanted to grab coffee some time. And I fucking told him "I'm really busy with work and classes and it's not a good time for me right now."
Like fucking christ. I'm a shitty person. That's like the worst way to reject a guy because everyone knows it's complete bullshit.

But now I'm kind of annoyed. Because a random guy who didn't even have the balls to introduce himself to me without a note had more balls than Braeden, who still hasn't asked me out.

So yeah. Fun times.

Friday, November 8, 2013


okay. So Tuesday night store standard added me on facebook after we had like 10 short, customer interrupted conversations at work. Cool. I accepted the next morning and then at like midday my friends were trying to get me to send him a message and just be like "hey" but I'm super shy, like shy as fuck, no way was I starting the conversation. Anyway, I was arguing about this with my friends, and literally, as I'm saying "well why doesn't he message me then?" facebook makes that noise it makes. He fucking messaged me.

Now appreciate that we talk at work but our conversations at work are about 30 seconds to 2 minutes long because I'm stuck at the tills and he walks around the entire front end and parking lot.

We talked on facebook, on and off, for 7 hours.

That was on Wednesday.

Thursday we talked for 6 hours and it wasn't on and off at all.

Like I'm pretty sure that's not how most people do the meeting guys thing, but apparently it's working because there was some mutual flirting going on there.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Cute Store Standard continued.

I've noticed that I never really see store standards much, like ever, they don't really need to come to the tills much. And yet if Cute Store Standard is working I see him pretty frequently, like he's always coming through the front end and he walks past my till and makes comments about the lines and like I can't remember the last time we were both working and I didn't see him, meanwhile I rarely see the other store standards.

But I'm really annoyed because in the next 2 weeks we literally have 4 and a half hours when we're working at the same time so it's possible that in 2 weeks I'll only see him for like 30 seconds.

And it's really annoying too, because regardless of amy wanting to get some of that, shifts just go by quicker when he's there, because he's going past my till so frequently. And I really need shifts to go by quicker, cashiering will literally make you want to kill yourself I don't recommend getting a cashier job at a big store.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Cute Store Standard

Okay I work at a big store right, and at this store I'm a cashier, one of a few front end jobs. One other front end job is store standard. Store standards are the guys who wear the reflective vests and collect carts in the parking lot and help customers with big items who need help getting to their car and shit like that.
There is a store standard at my store who I like to call "Cute Store Standard."
Now it used to just be that I thought he was cute so I called him this in my head, but I've been working there 6 months now, he's been working there longer, and we actually talk now, and I may have a little bit of a crush on him.
And he's really nice, like I was a greeter one day (stand at the front and say hi when people walk in the store and check receipts when the alarm goes off) and someone left a cart with me and he was off the clock but I went to go put it back and he was like "I got it" and did it for me, and he does lots of stuff like that.
But like a couple of weeks ago I noticed that when he's buying stuff, regardless of the length of the line at my till, he goes through my till. Like my till had a long line and he still went through it instead of going through the till right next to mine with like 1 customer.
And then when he got to my till I was a complete idiot like I dropped my pen twice and ew.
And then when he's on the clock and has to go through the tills to go to the back of the till he always walks past mine and says something to me.
And then when he does baskets (the store standards collect baskets some days, other days the cashiers do, just means going to each till and grabbing all the baskets and taking them to the entrances) he's capable of picking up like a huge stack and carrying them to a cart in like 5 seconds, but when it's quiet and he's collecting baskets, like at 9pm when there's no customers, he brought the cart with the basket in right up to my till and put like 5 baskets at a time in the cart so it took like five times the necessary amount of time.
And I just notice him looking at me a lot like when he's waiting at a till to do a carry out or waiting at customer service to take the claims cart every time I look up he's looking in my direction.
And then one day I was going for my break and he was going to the front end and when I walked past him I said "hi" expecting him to just say "hi" back because we were going in opposite directions and he had to get back to work, and he just like turned around and walked most of the way back to the break room with him.
And then when I went in the break room and he was mid conversation with like 5 other people he just like stopped talking to all of them to talk to me.
I just feel like this is the first time in a long time that I like a guy and he probably likes me back and I think I'm going to fuck it up because I always do like the last time I liked a guy who probably liked me and we just never worked because I was too stubborn to just be nice to him, but cute store standard it might actually work out with and I'm just really hoping it does because he's nice and cute and awkward but in a cute way and I like him.